10 things I learned at university (and I hope you will too)
So it’s mid-September already and that means more
fresh-faced teenagers making the biggest step of their life and moving to
university. I know this is a music blog and this post is off my theme, but I thought
it was important that I pass on a few things I learned at university since I know
a lot of people reading this will be starting soon.
I’ve just finished my three year degree and to be honest it
still hasn’t sunk in that I won’t be going back to uni in a week’s time like I have
for the past few years.
I learned and changed so much during my university years, so
I decided to put together a bit of a list of important lessons it taught me and
hopefully it’ll teach you too if you’re off to uni.
1. The value of friendship
I know everyone complains about school but
seriously, you’ll miss it when it’s gone. Going from seeing your best friends
five days a week for years to barely seeing them once every few months is one
of the toughest things about uni. In the first few weeks I found myself feeling
so lonely, and social media really doesn’t help when you see your friends from
home post pics with their new friends. It’s easy to get jealous and think they’ve
replaced you, but soon you’ll make new friends of your own. The best thing
about having a group of uni friends and a group of home friends is that when
you do go home and see your old friends it’s like nothing ever changed and you
appreciate them so much more. Work hard to keep up your long distance
friendships, it’s difficult but when you do get to see your friends it’s so much
more special – distance really does make the heart grow fonder.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others
This is something I’ve done all my life,
and it’s really hard to stop doing it. When I first started uni I saw people already
in friendship groups, laughing and joking, going for coffee dates while I was
sat in Starbucks on my own wondering what I was doing wrong. ‘Why is everyone
making friends
3. Your voice matters
I’ve always been someone who’s very quiet
and not really willing to share my opinions and thoughts. I always thought that
people would make fun of me or think my opinions were weird or not normal so I kept
them to myself. Uni taught me to speak up for myself, and I can say I’m a
completely different person to that shy girl who I used to be. I recognise that
although people might not always agree with them, my opinions are valid. I’m no
longer afraid to stand up for myself and what I believe in, and I will not let
people walk all over me like I used to.
4. It’s okay to struggle
When my course first started, there was a
point when I thought ‘oh no, what on earth have I let myself in for?!’. The
advice I’d give if you feel like this initially is just stick with it, for me
when I’d got a few months into the course I started enjoying it more and
especially after first year when we got more choice of modules. It’s also okay
to struggle emotionally – I constantly found myself feeling so homesick when I lived
away in first year and I don’t think it helped knowing I was only a half an
hour train ride away from home. Push through the difficulties, everyone will be
having their own private struggles and you’ll find that once you get past the
initial overwhelming aspect of moving out and starting your course you’ll be
fine.
5. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone
I know this is such an overused cliché saying,
but it’s never been truer than when you start university. For me, it was
completely out of my comfort zone. I went to a very small all-girls school in a
small city. My whole life I’ve lived in a small town where nothing much
happened. I’d say my childhood was pretty sheltered, nothing drastic or
traumatising had ever really happened to me, which obviously I’m very grateful for.
But this also meant that I was in for a massive shock when I left all that
behind for uni. You’re exposed to people from all walks of life, being on your
own, coping by yourself and essentially the big, bad world. Obviously this is
going to be daunting, but it’s the best thing I ever did. I learned to deal
with things on my own, make my own decisions, have the independence that I never
really allowed myself to have at home. University was the bravest step I ever
took, away from all the things I knew and loved and a way of life that I’d
taken for granted. I’ve learned that I can cope on my own, I am my own person
and I don’t need to depend on anyone else.
6. You are capable of more than you think
This links in with my last point, but
really I have outdone all my expectations of myself because of uni. Even getting
into the uni of my dreams was more than I ever thought possible. At sixth form I
was told by one of my teachers that I shouldn’t continue with English A Level,
because I wasn’t going to get a good grade. I could’ve easily given up then and
there. But I didn’t. I worked damn hard for the next year and a half and I got
into my first choice university to study English with Creative Writing. I now
have a 2:1 degree. You can do whatever you put your mind to. I’m telling you
now, if there’s something you really want, please go for it. Don’t listen to
anyone who tells you that you can’t do it. Proving them wrong will be the best
feeling in the world.
7. It’s okay to be proud of yourself
We seem to have this attitude nowadays that
when people are proud of themselves or their achievements, they’re seen as
vain, or bragging. That attitude needs to stop. If you’ve done something you
never thought you could, why shouldn’t you tell the world? For my dissertation,
I wrote fifteen of my own poems. I had to read one of my own poems out EVERY
WEEK to a group of about seven people. My anxiety was through the roof every
time. But I did it – and people liked my poetry. This gave me the biggest
confidence boost in the world. I ended up getting a first for my dissertation. I
will not hesitate to tell almost everyone I meet about this fact, because I worked
so hard, I conquered my fears and shared my most personal writing with everyone
and they liked it. I also had the hugest bout of anxiety leading up to
graduation. I think I cried every single day for about two weeks before the
ceremony because I was that panicked about having to go up on stage in front of
around 900 people. On the day, I used every single coping strategy I could to
calm myself down. As I was about to step onto the stage I felt like running
away – but I took a deep breath, and as they called out my name and I shook
hands with the chancellor, all my anxiety disappeared. I walked down the aisle,
among all those people, with the hugest smile on my face and I can honestly say
that was the greatest, most proud moment of my life. Not only had I proved everyone
who doubted me wrong, I’d proved to myself that I can do anything. And if I’m
not allowed to be proud of that amazing achievement, then in the politest
possible way you can go take a hike!
8. You will change, and people will too
I think you can already see that I’ve
changed an incredible amount over the three years I went to uni. But there’s a
negative side to change as well. Sometimes friends you think you had turn out
to be fake. People come and go, but true friends will always be there for you. If
someone isn’t treating you right it’s okay to let them go. Certain friends I made
initially turned out to be complete bitches. Now, pre-uni me would have put up
with their rude and ignorant ways, but not new and improved uni me. This ‘friend’
of mine started randomly turning on me, putting me down, making me feel like a
piece of dirt on their shoe. Nobody, especially a friend, has the right to
treat you that way. Take my advice and get rid of anyone like that. Don’t feel
like you have to stay in a friendship just because it’s the only one you’ve
got, because I guarantee you once you drop the toxic people, much better ones
will come along and they’ll make you feel the way you deserve to – valued. I also
guarantee you they’ll be there to stay, and they’ll be the friends you’ll keep
into the future even once you’ve finished uni.
9. Work hard and play hard
I know a lot of people think ‘Yay uni! No
parents! I can do whatever I want!’, and they go and get drunk every night and
don’t go to lectures and just look at it as one massive party. But take a step
back, you’re at uni to get a degree. I really don’t understand people who don’t
go to lectures. This is going to make me sound like a true nerd, but I really
enjoyed my lectures. I’m passionate about literature and writing so I loved
studying it in more detail. By all means, there’s time for partying, having
fun, making new friends, all that amazing stuff that people think uni is all
about. Uni is about all those things and I’m not preaching that you shouldn’t
do all of it, but you need a balance between work and play. Learn when to have
fun and when to put your head down and work hard.
10. This is the best time of your life – enjoy
it!
Finally, I’d just advise you to have the
time of your life! Honestly, university was the best three years of my life –
the things I learned, the friends I made and the independence and confidence it
gave me I will always be grateful for. It almost makes me want to cry thinking
about the fact I won’t be back there again, but I’ll always look back on what I
learnt at that amazing place and think wow, I’m so glad and blessed that
happened. All the ups and downs have given me a new perspective on life, and
have genuinely changed me for the better. Embrace every moment, appreciate
every day, life won’t be like this forever and no matter how cliché it sounds,
these are by far the most amazing years of your life!
Are you starting university soon, at uni or
maybe finished like me? What were your highlights or what are you most looking
forward to? Leave your comments below, I’d love to hear from you!
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