23 | a poem

I haven’t written a full poem in a pretty long time. Since I did my degree and had to write fifteen of my own poems for my dissertation, I kind of got sick of writing poetry for a while. I found that while little pieces of ideas and certain lines would come into my head, nothing ever came together to form a whole coherent poem.

But last night I found myself inspired to write. Doing a journalism masters, I don’t get a lot of time to do creative writing any more. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and last night after I arrived back in my uni room on my own, I opened the notes section on my phone and this poem just poured out of me. Just like that.

I’ve been thinking about how living away from home just isn’t for me. I love my course and everything here, but after I’m done I have the full intention of going back home and trying to get a job there. And that’s okay. I’m the kind of person who always thinks that people are going to judge me, and I think ‘oh god, that eighteen year old has their life more together than me’ or ‘why does that 21 year old have her own flat and a full time job when I can’t even be away from home for more than two weeks?’

I think this poem explains the rest, so I’m just going to let it do the talking.

23

Everyone is different

that’s what I’ve learned

and that it’s okay

if you don’t do things their way.

There’s no rule

dictating how you should be

living alone at twenty-three.

I used to think city lights

would make me happy,

dreamed of places far from home

at seven years old.

My imagination was bigger

than reality.

At eighteen some move away,

have the time of their lives

and never think twice

but it was not for me.

You have to follow your heart

wherever it leads,

whether it’s far

or right where you are.

For now I’m twenty-three

I may have a degree

but the lure of home pulls me back

to where I’m meant to be.

It takes a lot for me to build up the courage to post my poetry on such a public platform, especially one as personal as this. But I just felt like the message was important, and if I could help someone who might be feeling the same way as me, who feels like there’s a certain thing they should be doing at a certain age, that it’s okay to be wherever you want to be. It’s 2018, and I’m trying to be more confident in my abilities and who I am, without being scared of being judged.

Hopefully you enjoyed and perhaps related to this poem, and thank you for taking the time to read it, I appreciate it a lot.

As always thank you so much for reading, x