Dear Louis Tomlinson

Dear Louis,

My heart hasn’t stopped aching since I opened my phone in the middle of a crowded street and saw the news of your mother’s passing. It hit me harder than I ever imagined that the death of someone I didn’t know could. That’s the thing, you see. I felt like it was one of my family members who had passed away, and I could only imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling.

Over the past six years you have brought so much happiness and positivity into my life. Seeing your smiling, laughing face on stage has given me so much joy, and you have always cheered me up when I needed it the most. You are the reason I have met some of my best friends, Louis, you have been the reason for my smile when I’ve been lonely, when I felt like nobody else was there you always were. Your songs have been a source of happiness and comfort in my life whenever I needed it. So when I heard that your mum had so tragically passed away, it hurt me to know that I couldn’t be there the same way that you’ve always been there for me. There was nothing I could do to take your pain away.

However, I was uplifted by the fact that the fandom I belong to was so supportive. In the past, I have been made to feel embarrassed and ashamed of being a part of the One Direction fandom. I’m not going to lie; we have a reputation for being a little crazy. But these past few days have shown me that there is no other fandom that is stronger than ours. Because this isn’t just a fandom, it’s family. The things we have been through together over the past six years have brought us so close together; there is nothing we cannot conquer. I am truly proud to be a fan of One Direction, and more importantly right now, of you Louis.

As if I needed any more reasons to adore and admire you, the bravery and courage you have shown since the passing of your mother has inspired me so much. I’ve had a hard time putting my admiration for you into words. It must have taken all the strength you had to be able to get up onto that X Factor stage at Wembley Arena for your first solo performance and sing that song to your mum. I truly do not know how you did that; you sang your heart out and although I could see the pain in your eyes you did all of us and her proud. You have shown to everyone out there who doubted you and your voice not only that you can sing, but that you can put on an incredible performance just days after your mother has passed away and show all the bravery and strength in the world. I cannot put into words how proud I am of you, we all are of you. The fact that all your band mates dropped everything to be there to support you shows how much of a huge family this band and fandom truly is.

I know that you will continue to be an amazing father to Freddie and pass on all the wonderful qualities your mother gave you on to him. I have no doubt that you will continue to support your little sisters and brother through this horrendously difficult time, because you are an unbelievably incredible person, Louis. You are kind, caring, thoughtful and have one of the biggest hearts I know. Throughout this year we had no idea you were putting a brave face on while your mother fought a hidden battle. You continued to support countless charities, raise money for causes you believe in, make terminally ill fans’ dreams come true all while struggling with your own mother’s illness. I hope that the world finally gives you the credit you’ve always deserved, Louis. It’s a shame that it took such a tragic event for people’s eyes to be opened to the wonderful human being you are, but I am so proud of you for everything you’ve done and will continue to do.

I hope that you can take some comfort from the fact that your mother is no longer suffering, but even I still cannot fathom the fact that such a wonderful woman is no longer with us. Keep spreading love, positivity and hope just as she did. You are such an inspiration to me and to all of us, and I will forever be proud to say that I have supported and loved you from the start. We’ll get through this
together, I know it.

Just hold on.

All the love, xx


  1. This is so so beautiful Clare! I wish Louis could read this. But I think even if he won't, he knows we will always be here for him. We're a team and even though, like you said, our fandom is crazy & not always in a good way, we're also such a strong support group and I'll always be proud of that. So much love for this letter x


    1. Thank you so much Sara! I doubt he will ever read it but I just wanted to get some of my feelings out in the open, I know that he knows we are all here for him and will support him no matter what. It means a lot, thank you :) xx


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